_{Disclaimer: I use affiliate links throughout my blog. If you click the link, I may be eligible for some commission but you do not pay anything extra for helping me out in this way. If I have personally used and am promoting that exact product, I will clearly state this, otherwise please assume the link is merely illustrative.}

Every baby’s mother or primary guardian needs to read this book. I found it eye opening. I wasn’t a bad person for feeling bored! In fact, when I feel like I’ve done nothing all day but try to keep baby J alive, dry, full and not crying, I have actually had a full busy day of mothering. It sounds simple but the psychology behind why some of us find it so hard to adjust is fascinating.

Many parents stuck at home are disheartened when their partner (or flatmate or parent) comes home and fills them in on a busy day at the office (or in my case, at the school where my husband works), and when it comes to their turn, their partner says kindly, “and what about you, what did you do today?” You try not to glance guiltily towards the pile of unwashed dishes, the full washing machine, the dust on the shelves, the unmade bed… You try not to cry because you are just so tired but cannot for the life of you think what you did apart from sit on the sofa feeding or holding the baby. There must have been some time in the day you could have checked something off your list surely? But maybe you were trying to sleep while the baby napped, or just get dressed. Or maybe he didn’t nap at all.

What Mothers Do is for you. Read it, feel better. Your work is important. More important, some would say, than whether a file gets sent or a boss appeased. For now the baby is your boss, and just because you can’t necessarily tick off a list of chores, does not mean you haven’t worked hard. You just have a different way of showing your results now. You can proudly produce your offspring to the returning partner (flatmate, parent, or postman) and say “ta da! He’s still alive! And in a clean (as of 30 mins ago) nappy, and he slept a little today and only cried for two hours!” And so what that they look at you with your crazy hair and the baby with spit up down his front and raise their eyebrows. You know that the work you are putting in now, and by that I mean responding to his cries, talking to him, carrying him around until you worry that your arms are genuinely longer than they used to be, all that will result in a wonderful, secure, loving child with the best possible start in life. Because of you.

Just read the book, trust me. What Mothers Do